"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner."
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
"Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?"
"My children love my mother, and I tell my children, "That is not the same woman I grew up with... this is an old woman trying to get into heaven now."
"My mother never breast-fed me. She said she liked me as a friend."
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
"I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress."
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'."
"I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells."
"When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. (on Frank Sinatra)"
"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
"When I read about the evils of drinking, i gave up reading."
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